#25 Can I ask a Question…about Lust?

Dear Doctimus Prime,

Today’s entry is a rather short one. Someone asked me a question:

“Can an element of lust be found in true love?”

Here was what I had to say:

Your question is similar to asking if an element of darkness may be found in light. Your answer is a resounding “No”. But if what you consider “lust” is simply the natural attraction which one feels towards someone they love, your answer is “Yes”.

Love always seeks growth and this growth is seen in the growing attraction you feel towards someone you’re close to. Some of the people we love are family, others are friends. There is also one special person for whom love will mean marriage. It is good to set your mind right and know what you’re looking for and what you’re doing when you say you love someone. This is because, sometimes, you think you love a person but later you discover you only find them attractive. But if your attraction to them leads you to have sex (before marriage) which should ordinarily be the climax of intimate and exclusive friendship, you’ll lose them and any opportunity to develop any meaningful interaction with them afterwards.


The idea you must keep in mind at every point in time is: “TRUE LOVE IS IN STAGE”. Your love has to grow and at the peak of this love (in the case of a member of the opposite gender) is sex. Sex comes after you must have decided that you love this person’s background, behaviour and beliefs. Only then must you seek to make your relationship permanent through marriage. If this is not your thinking about relationship, your understanding has either been polluted or you don’t truly love the person you claim you are in love with.